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There was a time when older members of any community worked hard to ensure the next generation married well.

In our current hands-off approach, many single adults are adrift and need help to meet and marry wisely because that’s not a priority in our culture.

What this looks like will be different in various churches.

But when church leaders ask unmarried men to take on significant responsibilities, they demonstrate a belief that godly singleness is a tremendous asset to the body of Christ.

By knowing those relationships where I was to say yes, I knew also where I could say no without guilt.

While I believe all churches should prize marriage and family, I also believe we have to be careful about the unintentional messages potentially conveyed about marriage and family. The one relationship that survives eternally is the one we have as the bride of Christ to our beloved Savior.

Through the years, I’ve observed that The Singles can be a prickly lot to pastor.

Whatever leaders say from the pulpit about singleness is guaranteed to encourage some and offend more.

Carolyn Mc Culley is the founder of Citygate Films and the director/producer of the Desiring God short film, The Story of Ian and Larissa.

She is also author, with Nora Shank, of the book The Measure of Success: Uncovering the Biblical Perspective on Women, Work, and the Home.

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  1. As humans societies have evolved from hunter-gatherers into civilized societies, there have been substantial changes in relations between men and women, with perhaps one of a few remaining biological constants being that both adult women and men must have sexual intercourse for human procreation to happen.